Cumulonimbus
by September Severtana
Summary: A cumulonimbus cloud is a dense, towering cloud associated with thunderstorms and atmospheric instability. And Castiel has just found his in a man named Dean Winchester.


**I'm going to be doing a few oneshots now. My birthday oneshot was the beginning, there are more coming. This is my first venture into the Supernatural fandom, so I would like y'all to tell me how I do. Enjoy!**

* * *

Sometimes, Castiel thinks Dean's soul could have been part of a thundercloud once.

He's known the Winchesters for a couple years and yet, it feels like many more to him. Dean and Sam, the brothers that no one wanted to deal with, the ones that had to save everyone. Castiel wonders if it's tiring; he knows it has to be. The older brother has so much weight on his shoulders, but he keeps going, no matter what happens, while the little brother has huge bursts of energy, and then lulls. This observation is the first comparison Cas makes between Dean and a thundercloud: weighty, tired, and constantly able to form and move on.

When Cas looks at the oldest Winchester brother, he doesn't see the exterior, or he tells himself he doesn't. He really sees the bright and dark and radiant and rain-drenched soul that he pulled out of Hell. Castiel always liked rain; he likes how it washes the Earth clean of blood and darkness and pain for just a little while. He likes how much power and love falls on the ground with a few drops of water. Dean rains as well, except he rains a different medium than the sky.

When Dean rains, he rains a difficult mixture of unseen heartache and determined hope. Castiel can taste it in the air.

There are times when nothing goes right, and Zachariah hurts them all, and Cas fights with Sam and Dean, and lightning strikes the ground. Burns litter the cement where Dean's anger used to be; Castiel counts them all once everyone's left. He can't think about anything once he finishes counting but a pair of green eyes.

Castiel knows that no one has understood the signs that he has around Dean. Lightning and rain and constantly moving on. And thunder, thunder from defiance and love (not for him, for Sam and Bobby) and pissed off-ness. There is nothing Castiel would want more than to make sure Dean is never pissed off at him, but he can't help it sometimes. He has to fight for this man, whether Dean likes it or not.

So thunder and lightning and rain... Cas is missing ice. Ice that comes into being with betrayals and hurt and how damn tired Dean is. Castiel just wants him to sleep for a while. Ignore the world, ignore how far it's falling. He smiles slightly when he thinks about his own fall for this. For Dean. He wants to melt every ounce, every small bit of ice coating Dean's soul, but he wonders if he's allowed to.

Dean deserves better than every human on Earth and every angel in Heaven. Castiel would only trust his Father with Dean, and only sparingly. He doesn't even trust himself to be what Dean needs him to be.

Cas is tired too, and he wishes it would rain. Rain means Dean is still there, still touching the Earth with his callused hands. Rain means life.

* * *

The Impala is on a paved road in the middle of the US. Minnesota, to be exact. Cas has been following it for several miles, needing to see someone that wants to see him. It gets lonely when there's no one to talk to for miles and eons.

Sam looks tense, but he usually does these days. It's nothing new, so Cas doesn't pay much attention to it. But Dean looks exhausted, stubborn, strained, stretched far too thin. Castiel wants to hold him, make him sleep, make him calm. But he wouldn't be welcome.

Maybe, Cas thinks, he misses the rain too.

"Hello," he says, materializing in the back seat of the Impala.

Dean jumps. "God, Cas. A little warning would have been nice."

"My phone call would have startled you as well," Cas points out. Dean rolls his eyes, but smiles.

"Good to know not everyone's changed." He pauses. "So, how have things been?"

Castiel answers exactly what he's thinking. "Not good. I want it to rain because the Earth is too dirty."

Sam turns to stare at him for the first time. "The rain doesn't do anything. Actually, it tends to spread dirt. Plus, are we talking real dirt or metaphorical dirt?"

"Dirt," Cas replies simply, because it's all dirt, real or not. Sam shakes his head and turns back to the dashboard. The angel doesn't know whether he's analyzing the phones in the glove box or pretending to have a teenager's attention span. It could be either.

"Well, it's your lucky day, angel. Where we're headed, the forecast says there's gonna be a shit ton of rain. Yay."

"Yay indeed." Castiel smiles. "Thank you for informing me, Dean."

Dean stares at him in the rearview mirror. "That was sarcasm, but I'm not going to rain on your parade."

"Rain is good wherever and whenever it happens. Even on parades."

The older Winchester smiles too. "At least someone's happy in this car. Take a page from his book, Sammy."

"I'll be happy when Satan's head has a bloody hole in it with brain matter spilling out," Sam retorts.

Dean shakes his head. "I'm gonna jump on the happy train with Cas just this once, alright? No point being a vengeful husk all the time." He looks Cas straight in the eyes, and the angel shivers a little. Green eyes like the trees before the lightning starts them on fire, green like the plants that grow because of rain, green like the ice over a shallow lake. No thunder yet. "You and me, Castiel, we're on a mission to enjoy what little time we have left."

And what can Cas say to that but yes?

* * *

When the Impala pulls into the tiny town, Castiel immediately gets out of the car. He can't help but be excited; he hasn't seen a real thunderstorm in too long. The sky is dark, but there are little streaks of light painting certain sections of the sidewalk with yellow. The clouds are gray-blue-violet and blanket the periwinkle expanse up above. Cas knows how beautiful it is, but he hopes Dean does too. He hopes Dean _understands_ it.

"It's about to start." Cas glances behind him. Dean has gotten out of the car and left Sam in there. He has a soft look on his face, and Castiel really doesn't know how to interpret that.

"Good. We need an exceptional vantage point, however." Cas materializes on the roof of a nearby building. "No, not right." He whooshes to the top of a tree. "Hm. Can't feel any effects here." And then, he spots the ideal place.

"Castiel! What the actual hell are you doing up there?!" Dean calls. He looks oddly nervous, and Cas doesn't have enough 'angel mojo' to figure out why.

"I've experienced storms from this point before, and every time I do it feels like the first time. Can you climb to me?"

Dean rolls his eyes, but there's fear in them that Castiel can't place. "Not easily. Didn't you see the 'Keep Out: High Voltage' signs?"

Cas came down to the ground. "Yes, of course. I assumed they weren't for me."

"Of course they're not for you. You can't be killed by electricity or falling from a stupidly tall height." Dean's voice sounds agitated, and Cas suddenly realizes why.

"You're afraid, aren't you, Dean? There's no reason to be afraid while I'm here." Cas takes one of Dean's hands. "Now, come with me. There is no better way to see a storm than from up here. I promise, nothing can hurt you."

The older Winchester brother stares at him for several seconds. "You promise? I'm damn sick of getting hurt."

Castiel nods. "On my Father's name."

Dean sets his jaw and gets a hard look in his eyes. "Alright. Fly me up."

In a fraction of a second, the two of them are perched on the wires of power-lines. Cas can feel the electricity surging through his feet, but it doesn't affect him until he wants it to. "I'm supposed to be electrocuted right now. How are you doing this?" Dean asks, careful not to glance down to the ground.

"I'm an angel, albeit not a very good one. Very few things can harm me, and therefore, since you're touching me, those same few things can harm you." Cas notices Dean's quick look to their clasped hands. "Now all we have to do is wait for the rain to start."

* * *

Minutes, or maybe hours pass in quiet. Castiel has never been good at judging time. Dean doesn't speak, but sometimes he'll open his mouth like he wants to. The sky grows ever darker, and then Cas feels one drop of water plop on his nose. He smiles and looks up, hearing thunder. "It's starting."

Dean squeezes Cas' hand tighter and stares at the sky as well, breaking into a grin. "Why do you like storms so much anyway?"

"You'll see," he replies. He can't ruin the surprise. "Here comes the lightning."

The sky lights up suddenly with a bang of sharp energy. The noise rings in Castiel's ears, running through his vessel like a child through a playground. He says hello to the sound, greets it like an old friend. "Can you feel what I'm feeling, Dean?"

Dean turns to him. "A little. Remembrance? Happiness?"

"That's a start. Maybe when it rains harder." The clouds seem to obey, beginning to pour on him and Dean. His companion's shirt and hair are soaked very soon, and Castiel knows his are too. He welcomes it, welcomes feeling drenched and tingly. Cas twirls Dean on the power line in joy, whirling them both over the twenty-foot drop, and just managing to pull Dean back from the edge. He looks scared, but the fear starts to leave his eyes as lightning strikes twice more.

"Do you understand it a little now?"

Dean nods. "You're connected to the storm, aren't you? You experienced being struck by lightning as an angel and you liked it?"

"Not only that." Cas walks across the wires, taking Dean along with him. "There's more. Can you figure it out?"

Dean pauses, eyes blinking the rain onto his cheeks. He looks beautiful, like he's meant to be here. Isn't that enough evidence for Dean to go on? "Give me a hint."

Castiel thinks for a moment. "I met someone in here. Someone important."

The other man frowns a little, his brow furrowing. "Someone important? To you? No one's really that important to you but..." He stops. "You met God here?"

"Well, yes. But not just him."

"Whoa, there." Dean pokes a finger in Castiel's tie. "You've met God? In a thunderstorm like this one? I thought you said you've never seen him!"

"He created me, Dean. I had to have met him at least once." Castiel can't look at the man standing across from him. He was about to say the real person he had in mind, but he can use this excuse. It is the truth too. "I was born when a bolt of lightning hit a tree in the Garden. When I woke up, I was in a storm. A voice told me to spread my wings and follow the bolt into Heaven, and I did. God was that voice, I know it. He cared enough about me not to leave me in the Garden alone; He wanted me to serve him, and so I did. God led me down this path to you."

"To me?" Cas hears a fake smile in Dean's voice. "No god in their right mind leads an angel to a fucking screw-up like me."

"God in his right mind would do that every time. Do you know why?" Castiel argues. "Because you're exactly like me. The angel that fell to preserve free will, and the man that came back from falling that always fights for what is right."

Dean stares at Castiel like, what do the humans say, like he's grown three heads. "You can't really believe in me that much."

Cas smiles at this. "If I didn't believe in you, you would have been electrocuted, or would have fallen from this set of wires. Is that enough evidence for you?"

"No. No it's not. You wouldn't let anyone fall." Dean is such a skeptic, Castiel thinks. He believes in monsters and angels and demons and humans but he can't believe he's worth something.

"I wouldn't let _you_ fall. Ever. Now shut up and let me show you my favorite part of the storm." The man next to him falls silent, and goes back to feeling the rain on his skin. Cas knows what he's about to do will get him additional punishment in Heaven, but he's done enough anyway that it can't hurt. "Brace yourself, Dean."

Dean glances at him in confusion before rocking back and forth on the power line from the force of what just hit him. Lightning. It crackled over his skin, dancing rapidly and curling itself through him.

"Don't be frightened, the electricity can't hurt you while I'm here. Just hold on to me and feel it for just a minute." Castiel remembers what it was like to feel lightning course through him, as if his body was its vessel. Every time a thunderstorm comes, he tries to replicate that feeling, the feeling of being a part of nature, not just a soldier or a son. He loves Earth and humanity so much that this is the way he tries to be connected to it. When Castiel is part of Earth's forces, he feels peaceful, safe. Before he met Dean, this was the only way to feel peaceful and safe. And he wants Dean to experience that.

"How do you feel?" he asks, once the white-yellow streaks have passed safely through Dean's body and into the power lines below them.

Dean doesn't answer for a moment. "Are you...do you still need the storms? To feel safe, I mean."

Castiel winds his fingers through Dean's. "No. Not anymore. Now I'm not going to give you any reasons why and you're going to figure it out." Dean gives him the look that Cas associates with 'I really have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm not going to say anything because I will appear weak'. "Dean, must I spell out everything for you?"

"Yes, that would be awesome."

The angel almost imperceptibly rolls his eyes. Why does Dean have to be such an idiot about emotion? Won't everyone's lives be easier if he isn't? "How did you feel when the lightning hit your body? Comfortable, right? Just a tingly, warm, happy feeling? That's the way I felt only during the storms that I was born in. But then I met a person exactly like the storms and that feeling transferred. It was like being at home, in Heaven, for the first time again. Angels need others just like everyone else, and I found mine." Cas grins a little. "The human saying about boys trying to find people like their parents is very true."

Dean stares blankly at Castiel, unconsciously running his thumb over the angel's knuckles. "I still don't understand. You found someone like God?"

Cas is willing to feel the lightning without the shield at this point, he's that frustrated. "Dean, should I just show you instead of telling you? You don't seem to understand what I'm saying."

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" Dean huffs. He looks like an embarrassed teenager at the moment, and it prompts Castiel's actions to be more enthusiastic than he would have liked.

Castiel presses his lips to Dean's, making sure he's following all the guidelines he read about in a very helpful book. Person A (Cas) kisses Person B's (Dean's) top lip and their mouths piece together like a puzzle. Cas has never kissed anyone before, and he hopes he's doing a good job. He's been wanting to do this ever since he realized Dean made him feel safer than anything else; really, since he pulled Dean out of Hell and put his soul back together. Kisses are what humans do to show affection, so Cas thought it would fit.

And it does fit.

Cas never lets Dean's hand go but he does wrap his other arm around Dean's waist. If Cas knows the words for it, he'd call the kiss gentle, soft, and yet, powerful and electric. There's thunder in the older Winchester brother's form now. Beautiful. The angel tastes rain and lightning and ice and he couldn't be more happy. Castiel thinks that somewhere in his mind will be a memory of this moment.

When the two of them break apart, Dean rubs his face with the hand not in Castiel's. He doesn't look happy, but he doesn't look unhappy either. "I love you, but Dean, you need to learn more about emotional cues," Cas says, swinging their hands back and forth.

Dean doesn't answer, looking at the ground. It's still pouring rain, and his entire body is soaked with water. "What if I can't say anything back to you about that?" He has that same scared look in his eyes as when Cas first went to the top of the power line.

"It doesn't matter. The only thing that does is that I showed a big part of myself to you today, and you accepted it."

Confusion washes across Dean's face. "But more than that is supposed to matter."

Castiel shakes his head. "The only reciprocated love I need is from my Father. Anything else is welcome and would make me...very happy, but you don't need to. I'm just incredibly thankful for right now, and the future has little consequence to me."

"Are you sure?" His voice is cautious, slightly worried. But it's alright. Cas lived for a very long time without human love and can live out the rest of his life without it. All he wanted was these few hours, or maybe minutes, and he got them. Castiel silently thanks his Father for this.

"I'm sure. Now, come on, you will get cold if you stand out here for much longer." Cas materializes the both of them down to the ground, not letting Dean's hand go until they are within sight range of Sam and the Impala. "Go get warm, Dean. I'll be here when you need me."

Dean looks at him long and hard. "Will you be okay?"

Cas smiles. "Of course." Dean is the first one to leave, but Cas knew that would happen. "Goodbye, Dean. And thank you." When Dean turns back around to say something back, Castiel is already gone, up into the clouds.

Sometimes, Castiel thinks Dean's soul could have been part of a thundercloud once. Because Dean is his home.

* * *

 **Alright, I'm telling you this isn't the end. I have a sequel oneshot planned. Please read + review! I really probably need the feedback to improve my characters!**


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